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Men-Women.Org
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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from VenusMen Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a book describing psychological differences between men and women, and offers a guide for improving husband-wife relationships by understanding the emotional needs of the opposite sex. An example of the theories it offers is that when women complain about problems, they merely want their problems to be acknowledged, and to feel listened to. When men complain about problems, they are asking for solutions. John Gray suggests that offering solutions to a woman who is complaining will frustrate her, and make her feel as if she's not being listened to. Just sympathising with a man will be similarly frustrating for him, since he's asking for your advice, not your sympathy. Other concepts in the book are the difference between women and men's point systems and how they react under stress. Point SystemGray suggests that while a man might count a $200 item as 20 points and a $10 item as 1 point, women count each item as 1 point. The emotional stroke delivered by the sincere attention is as important as the value of the item. This can lead to conflict when a man thinks he has earned 20 points and deserves appropriate recognition while the female has only given him 1 point and recognizes him accordingly.The CaveAnother major point of Gray's books are the differences in the way they react under stress. He believes that many men withdraw until they find a solution to the problem. He refers to this as "retreating into their cave." In some cases they may literally retreat, for example, to the garage or craft room. On the other hand, he believes that women want to discuss problems when they occur. This leads to a natural dynamic of the man retreating as the woman constantly try to grow closer. ContextGray's books may only apply to western, individualistic cultures where men have historically been expected to supress their emotions. Gray's books are more pop-science than science. They are based on his personal experiences and opinions rather than formal scientific trials. Finally, they are simplifications of the real world where some men want to talk about their problems and some women just want solutions. That being said, Gray's books can provide a common vocabulary to couples who read the books giving them a way to discuss their relationships which they would otherwise lack. TriviaThe band Men From Earth deliberately spoofed the title of this famous book when choosing their name. The university where Dr. Gray got his diploma was founded two years before he received his doctorate and it no longer exists. The legitimacy of Dr. Gray's Phd has been disputed. Dr. Gray appeared on an episode of Penn & Teller's "Bullshit" which covered the self-help industry. Source is Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. The text is licensed under the GFDL.
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